Missing Memories

I've been missing Samuel a lot lately. I think of all the memories I have missed out on. If he were with us, he would probably be learning to walk by now. I think of all the places we could have taken him. All the days spent playing with him, showing him things, reading to him. He would have that sense of wonder and curiosity about things that babies have. I imagine him wanting to know about many things around him. He wouldn't have the words to say what he meant yet, but we would learn to understand him.

I imagine he would follow me around and want to know what I'm doing. He would sit on my lap and we would watch football together. In the summer I would take him to a Twins game. But none of that will be happening.

I miss you so much Samuel. I don't know how I've made it through without you. I want to hold you so bad it hurts. But all I have is this empty spot in my life where you should be. I love you Samuel, and I can't wait to see you again someday.